Daily spewage of a bitter mind.

I’ve been doing the whole liquid diet thing for a while.  Not losing any weight right now (I know I really need to kick up an excercise routine, but I’m lazy), but I still really like the convenience and ease of it.

Today, the big boss bought our department lunch from a local restaurant… I had a chicken sammich.  Just chicken breast, cheese, lettuce tomatoe and some spices.  It was pretty good… except my stomach has shrunk so much (not my gut mind you) that I have such a major food baby right now.  It’s kicking back hard!  I should’ve only had half a sandwich.

I was taking a break, huffing a bit and holding my tummy like a preggos woman while discussing it with my office buddy, Chris.  I’ve decided to name it after him and he’s excited to have a Chris Jr. around.  I’ll make sure to take pictures for ya’ll when I give birth. 

I started off today by pulling out my rolling desk cart, setting down some cookies and strategically placing a fan to waft them straight at my boss’ office door a few feet away. Attempting to torture and break him is often the highlight of my day.

The boss just left for the gym to burn that sugar he just consumed off. MWhahahahaha!

In other news, Cassidy (a coworker) recently allowed an alien to burst out though her stomach. I finally finished this baby blanket I had been secretly working on for her offspring-baby-jiggly thing. I obviously couldn’t post a pic until she received in since we all know she’s home all day facebooking now and would see it.

I went with zigzags since it reminds me of my baby blanket. (I MISS YOU BANKY!)

Already a pink blanket is well underway for someone else who carelessly allowed an alien impregnate them. Silly girls… when will they learn.

So there it is, my first actual project in my kiln.  It sucks, but it makes me happy.  There’s a crease in the middle, the edges are very uneaven, and basically every mistake possible was made… which in the end is a good thing I suppose.  When apprenticing in glass I learned the rule of the first project… You must keep it, you must display it, and you can’t fix it.  It’ll be a nice reminder someday of where it all started.  You know, when my masterpieces are on display and being sold for billions.

Sorry for the crappy picture, but it’s a crappy camera.

I walked in the office this morning to find this in on my candy jar…

I guess the boss is getting bitter now about the chocolate sitting here, hahah.

I came walking back into the office and my boss was staring at me with a stink eye.

Boss: “You and that chocolate made me sick again.”
Me: “How is that my fault?”
Boss: “You keep putting chocolate out!”
Me: “That chocolate is for everyone, I can’t help that you are a pig!”

So I refilled it just to spite him.

Boss: “Go ahead!  I’m not even tempted.”
Me: “Oh yes you are.”
Boss: “Okay, I am a little, but I’m not taking any.”

He got sick last week from eating to many.  I only buy chocolate because I know it’s his crack and he can’t help himself but I’m doing my best to make him fat again.

Anyone want to bet how long it takes him to have some?   $1 bets people, stop by my desk.

I spent a good portion of Saturday working in my art/craft room.  Last weekend I had finally purchased some hot glass and was ready to start playing around with it in the new kiln.  I spent time slapping together my first project, a glass plate.  Something simple, something colorful…

10.5 hours plus a few hours to cool down, this popped out of the kiln, which made me happy.  Not perfect, but pretty good (I think) and I learned a bunch too which was a bonus.

Sunday, I prepped the mold I was going to use to shape (or ‘slump’) the newly created disc into a plate.  I brushed the mold with a kiln wash and placed it in the kiln.  The wash I was using needs to be heated to 500°F before using it.  When the pink turns gray, it’s ready.  About halfway through I heard a small boom in the kiln.

When the kiln cooled down enough to open, this is what I found…

The plate actually exploded and flung apart.

So much for making for finishing my project! A whole weekend wasted, I was pretty down about it last night since there was just nothing I could do about it until I get a new one…. and study up on what I did wrong. I never used a clay mold before, so it is most likely my own fault. Did I heat it too fast… did I use the wrong kiln wash… who knows!

No plate until next weekend most likely

I spent all day back and forth with a coworker trying to get some code to jive. As soon as it compiles and runs the office suddenly fills with people. I forgot, it was the office party that has been planned for weeks to celebrate a new wing of the office.

I just got it running and I want to keep working…. go away people! I know, it’s a bad attitude, but I like to stay focused.

Do you know how hard it is to try and find a place to fart in a crowded office?

People are still lingering but the party is over, all the munchies are gone and I’ve completely lost momentum. Now, I just want to go home.

…and fart.

Are you sick of hearing about my endless blood tests yet? Cuz I’m sure sick of taking them.

Today I spent the morning at the Doc’s office finding out more about my recent results that would reflect my changes over the last month. My cholesterol dropped 50 points, My glucose down another 50, my liver functions cut in half, but my A1c went sky high.

“Your test is broken!”

Yes, I kind of had that ‘take your test and shove it’ mentality still. “Well it’s just wrong,” I said pouring through the billion test results. The rest of the test results wouldn’t make sense if it was right. He decided to redo the test, AGAIN. “If everything you said is true, there must be a lab error,” he admitted.

A few minutes after the Doc left a young lady came in to take my blood. Jab after jab she kept missing the vein and twisting the needle to try and get it. “Where’s the normal lady?”, which was my polite way of telling her how much she sucked at this and she really needed a different career path. I finally grabbed the pen and made a dot on my arm. “Jab there.” She made some happy comment about striking oil, but I was in no mood anymore.

5 minutes later Doc came in the results. He even shook my hand, “Congrats it’s normal, you were right.”

Damn right I’m right. Screw you lab technician guy who screwed up in the first place!

A little bit more work and I’m back to ‘normal’. At least there won’t be any more blood tests for 3 months.

With my recent blood test results being unfavorable, I redoubled my efforts to stay on top of checking my blood. I’ve always been one of those people who can eat the same thing every day and be perfectly happy. I know how my body reacts to certain foods because it’s always the same which I suppose makes me a little relaxed on checking it sometimes. Why check it when it’s always the same and I’m eating the same thing, right? Last night, in my renewed effort, went out and even bought a new blood glucose meter… because the 10 other ones around the house evidently weren’t enough.

Last month when I had my A1c checked it was 8%. So I worked out more, ate better and did anything I could to bring it down to avoid medications. I dropped 10lbs and everything seemed to be going smoothly… until my next A1c a month later. Granted A1c doesn’t need to be done that often but I was there having blood drawn for other things so I might as well have them do it again. The results came back and now it was over 9%.

I am scratching my head now.   How can someone who gets consistent readings of 80-95 on any number of blood glucose meters get a 9% on an A1c? It just doesn’t make sense to me. I must be missing something.

As far as I’m concerned right now, the A1c can just suck it.

I see the Doc tomorrow so we’ll see how that goes.

Sometimes I love checking my work voicemail. Why? Let me show you the message I received today..

VoiceMessage.mp3 (NSFW)